For Those Feeling Disenfranchised in the Modern World

Meet Henry Crun And Minnie Bannister

For those who do not know, this duo were characters conjured up by THE GOONS a group of inspired British radio comedians of the sixties. We are just ‘borrowing’ them as fondly remembered characters whom we still view with affection and admiration. Their antics and errors made us laugh. We were then the young ones and had no idea about the truth of old age when seen from the youthful end of life. Now as the inevitable end is approached, we are Henry and Minnie perchance,  and   because of that assumption we feel free to be like them and to be more honest about things that irritate or worry us.  Some of you will recall Henry’s and Minnie’s voices; I will do so as I write. If only Henry and Minnie could speak now for people like us who were born in the ninety thirties and early forties. Perhaps we ourselves can learn to laugh at our geriatric opinions and complaints but we should still insist that we are worth listening to and if any laughter follows it should be shared and people should have the grace to listen!

Welcome to a different view of the world…a geriatric, perhaps a wiser view of the world?

Lost For Words?  

Why, oh why does nearly everyone think that we should be told what to do when to do it and how? Guests, usually family visitors have scarcely come within ‘peck on the cheek’ range before they start giving advice and rearranging things and making plans with such speed that we are left breathless. Nearly always the advice is meant kindly, but we do not want to hear that we paid too much for the bacon, or the light bulbs or the chiropodist; our bedroom is not a ‘mess’ because we know where everything is; we do not need to be tidied because then we cannot find things where we left them. We could do with a better shower but cannot afford to have that and eat the food we prefer so we make a considered choice and accept the consequences.

THE Fear  

Then there is the matter of loss of mental as well as physical powers. Sometimes we have a creepy feeling that we are being tested to make sure that we are still compos mentis. A visitor or family member will remark on a slip of the tongue or a gap in   the memory (ours not theirs of course) and brandish it in our faces. We have also become aware of being taught too often about all sorts of things that people must know we have already learned! The subjects vary from ancient and modern History to how to score in tennis and how to drive a car. I don’t think that folk mean to be patronising but perhaps they should think twice before they teach us to suck eggs! However, there may be times when we shall need to relearn all sorts of things and will welcome assistance and understanding, so hang around loved ones!

New Stuff…TECHNOLOGY!

Minnie is the sort of person who cannot ‘get’ technology or anything of that ilk. If she had been around back in the past and had had any influence the discovery of the wheel would probably have been delayed. Like her I make   certain learned movements without understanding them. I know that I must have a smart ‘phone if I am to be able to cope with world as it is without all sorts of other probably time-wasting manoeuvres. In fact I do realise that some people manage without a smart ‘phone, but I have been encouraged by those in the know to use the smart ‘phone to access my bank and find the money lurking there and without the ‘phone I cannot now prove that I am who I say I am! The system keeps my money safe I am told but it was nice being able to go to a bank. I also need the ‘phone to receive some urgent personal messages and to pay parking charges…I often cannot find the ‘phone…

ANNOYING STUFF     

More to the point, is the disappearance of people where there used to be people! Shop assistants, on the shop floor who can direct me hither and thither and give advice and answer queries; friendly cashiers at the desk in the supermarket helping with packing and commiserating about the prices; fewer police to point the way and too many banks full of machines, but empty of bank personnel. Geriatrics like Henry do have ways of attracting service by banging a walking stick on the desk and by standing still and waiting…for a reaction and that does work. Gentlemen like Henry are the epitome of gratitude and politeness once the point has been made. More recently we have been advised to go to what we used to call The Chemist for help and advice, in order to take some of the strain from the NHS . How can we do that when Chemists/Pharmacists are disappearing in many areas?

MORE ANNOYING STUFF     

Tins and Bottles and all types of Plastic! Having just had to dig out sardines from their tin by using a spoon I am feeling desperately inadequate! Desperately weak. How have I become so weak without noticing what was happening? All tinned items except for the baked beans have become a problem! Even the once easy soup -guarding tins are a problem and very small tins with very small ‘keys’ are impossible! I have a drawer of very beautifully designed modern bottle opening gadgets which have proved to be less useful than claimed and old-fashioned openers that can be dangerous in weak and wobbly hands.   

Fortunately, bottles usually give in with a bit of help from the magic plastic mat available from J Lewis for pennies.

Plastic and cardboard are overused and often unnecessary but are not usually too frustrating if you have sharp scissors or a sharp knife.  Is it not odd, however, that we are almost back to the days of the Housekeeper’s Chatelaine, and could now do with her badge of office which was worn by her at her belt with pride as a sign of authority, whereas we now scrabble about looking in cupboards and drawers and under cushions trying to remember where something was last seen as if it were an animate being; the something often being our spectacles.